Remember Me
by Tall Blonde and Eyebrows
Summary: It'd be a shame to make James' perfect hazel eyes look upon this ugly, messy sight of him. So he ran his long fingers through his bangs. It didn't help. His hair, like his heart, was unkempt and tangled and, really, just a helpless, lost cause. Kames.
1. A Helpless, Lost Cause

Kendall tossed in bed, tangling his legs in the covers and burying his face into his pillow. It smelled like a mixture of Cuda and something so boyish and clean that it could only be—

_"If you want to spend so much time with Jo, then why don't you just date her? That's all you want, isn't it? I see the way you look at her!" _

Kendall turned the other way, trying to get comfortable. There was so much more room on the bed than he was used to and it was just so cold without—

_"It's not just that, Kendall, I saw you with her. I saw her throw herself at you and you didn't even push her away. You _liked_ it, didn't you?" _

Kendall kept shifting and stirring, desperate for the bliss of sleep. He groaned loudly when he realized that his whole body was completely cocooned in the sheets. It reminds him of a butterfly, something so beautiful and elegant he couldn't help but also picture—

_"Is she softer than me, Kendall? Cuter? Nicer? Funnier? Is she a better kisser? Tell me, do you love her more than me? Just say it! If you want her so bad, you can have her 'cause we're over!" _

Kendall shook in his fitful rest, a cold sweat on his face and his heart racing in his chest. Words poured out of his open mouth like prayers, but no one was listening. Because he was alone. "Please… No… I—"

_"I love you, James! Only you!" _

Kendall's red-rimmed eyes slowly opened when his phone goes off, blasting "Big Time Rush" into the room and into the blonde's ears. He sluggishly grabbed his phone, answered it without bothering to check the caller ID, and croaked out a broken "H-Hello?"

"Kendall." It was Logan. "James is in the hospital."

* * *

><p>As Kendall sped down the highway—paying no heed to the fact he had yet to get an official license and there was no adult in the car with him—he tried his best to ignore the tears falling down his cheeks because he couldn't risk taking a hand off the steering wheel to wipe them. His hands were already shaking violently.<p>

He knew that if he took one off, there was no doubt he'd get into a bad crash.

He also knew that particular hospital visit was different than the others; the boys were no strangers to doctors and white rooms that smell like old people and medicine, but that phone call was too dramatic, too distressing to play off as another simple hockey accident.

Something was wrong with James.

So something was wrong with Kendall, by association.

There was a constant, little voice in the back of his uneasy mind that kept telling, yelling, nagging at him.

_It's your fault,_ the voice badgered. _If it wasn't for you, he would have been safe at home, in bed, sleeping his pretty little mind away. He wouldn't have gotten hurt. He left because of you._

And Kendall didn't argue back.

Not because it would have been weird for a hysterical crying teen to be yelling at himself while driving well over the speed limit on the highway, no, but because he had no way to defend himself against the truth.

_You don't deserve James,_ the voice said again as Kendall flipped on his blinker for a second before taking a sharp right, cutting off a big, over expensive SUV driver with a very colorful vocabulary.

That damn voice kept beating him.

* * *

><p>Kendall stopped into the bathroom before going to James' infirmary room. He doesn't want to waste the time, but with all the stress, his bladder felt like it'd explode and he doesn't think the nurses would appreciate having not only to clean up their patients but also mop up some random sixteen-year-old boy's urine.<p>

When he washed his hands, he slashed water from the sink on his red face several times, hoping that would take away from the blush staining his cheeks and wash away the remaining tears. It was a hopeless attempt—his bottle green eyes are red and puffy, the bags under them obvious.

He was only doing it for James, anyway.

It'd be a shame to make James' perfect hazel eyes look upon this ugly, messy sight of him. So, again in attempt to make himself look even a bit more presentable, he ran his long fingers through his dirty blonde bangs.

It didn't help.

His hair, like his heart, was unkempt and tangled and, really, just a helpless, lost cause.

* * *

><p>Everyone hung around James in a circle as if trying to protect him from any more bad things, anything that could possibly hurt him any further. Mama Knight was at his right, rubbing soothing shapes on his arm, the other arm around Katie. Carlos and Logan flank his left, looking down at him with the saddest big, brown irises.<p>

That was exactly how they were when Kendall opened the door slowly, slipping in and closing it again with the softest sound possible.

"Logan called me and told me," the blonde whispered in explanation when he felt James' curious eyes trained on his face. "I came as fast as I could."

He doesn't notice the four pairs of anxious eyes burning holes into various parts of his body from everyone else in the room. He was only concerned with searching James for any signs of discomfort or pain. The pretty boy didn't necessarily look hurt…

"Thanks," James told him in a scratchy voice.

And Kendall felt horrible that James actually _thanked_ him for coming, as if it was a surprise that he would actually come over and wish him well, so he said in a slightly nervous voice, "No, it's the least I could do."

A small smile pulled at James lips. "And the least I could do is thank you." Then James decided to grace everyone in the room with the musical sound of his laugh, right from his chest, deep and happy, which was a stark contrast from the murky feeling in the room.

Usually, when James laughed, it was a contagious thing, something that made everyone else in the room laugh along with him, but now, no one else even cracked a smile.

Probably because of the next words that came out of his pretty mouth.

"I'm James Diamond," he introduced himself to the blonde, giving the boy another smile, "and you are?"

Kendall's face immediately clouded with shock and confusion, his eyes wide. "Wh-what?"

* * *

><p>So another new Kames story because I'm just in love with them :) Your thoughts?<p> 


	2. A Psychosomatic SelfProtective Corollary

A nervous chuckle slipped through Kendall's parted lips; which, really, seemed like a horrible reaction, because he didn't want to laugh. What he really wanted to do was cry or maybe curl up into a ball and wait for this bad dream to be over. "You're joking, right?"

It came out as a desperate whine.

And when James didn't answer verbally (his only reaction was to furrow his thin eyebrows), he tried again, "James? You're _joking_, right? Tell me you're joking!"

Logan had to forcibly drag him out of the room to stop the ramblings falling out of the blonde's mouth. He knew he was scaring the pretty boy, making a total fool out of himself in front of his closest friends and family, but what else could he do when his best friend asked him who he _was_, when the boy he loved looked at him like a freaking _stranger?_

When Logan stopped pulling him out by his shirt, he turned on the boy, demanding, "What's going on, Logan?"

The raven-haired boy sighed. Then in a really low, deliberate voice as if he was dealing with a child, he said, "He doesn't remember you."

If Kendall wasn't so close to breaking, he would've said "duh."

But because he _was_ so close to breaking, he stated instead, "Duh! Why the hell not?" Well, that's what he wanted to say; panic took control of his tongue and made more useless words sputter out, "How can he not remember me? What happened to him? Why is he even in the damn hospital!"

"He hit his head or something. We're not exactly sure because he _doesn't _remember."

"But he knows who he is!" Kendall protested. "Don't people with amnesia usually don't know anything?"

"Yes, but he doesn't have amnesia. At least, not a full blown case," Logan amended. "He knows who he is, and Carlos, and Mama K, and Katie, Gustavo, Kelly, me…" The smart boy sighed. "The only one he doesn't remember is _you_, Kendall."

Silence.

_Deafening _silence.

"…Why?"

The question was quiet, small, defeated as Kendall slumped into himself. He didn't know if he was asking Logan or whatever God that hung out above the clouds that loved messing with him, but the former was the one who answered him.

"His psychosomatic subconscious is having a self-protective corollary…" Logan paused when he noticed the confusion etched on the taller boy's face to dumb down the words a bit. "Okay, never mind. I'll put it like this: James' mind has a really great defense and all memories of you, the offense, are being body checked to the boards by the defensive line. To protect the goal—or in this case, James as a whole—that defensive line is blocking out everything that has to do with you."

Another sigh came out of his mouth before he looked at Kendall straight on. "He doesn't remember you because he doesn't want to, because it would hurt him to remember."

And that was when Kendall actually did go to the little blue, sitting bench beside them, sat down, and, ignoring all the weird looks from other people in the room, curled up in the fetal position and waited for this bad dream to be over.

* * *

><p>Kendall never thought Jo would turn out to be so much trouble. A sweet little blonde from North Carolina? Sounded about as scary and horrible as a Chihuahua barking at you.<p>

Well, maybe, she was a bit too clingy and liked physical contact just a little too much, like when she was homesick and ran to Kendall because the flannel he always wore reminded her of the farms of her childhood and hugged him until he couldn't breath, but honestly, as harmless as a little lap dog.

It was no wonder when he befriended her—he was just a friendly guy. Besides, everyone at the Palm Woods were friends; even James was, at least, acquaintances with Jo!

He didn't think it was any big deal. Friends hug all the time, so, yeah, Kendall hugged Jo some times. It didn't mean anything. They were just the wrapping of arms around waists for a couple seconds, a gesture of _friendship_.

They were nothing like the hugs he shared with James late at night.

They weren't filled with affection or adoration or _love _like his hugs with James were. They weren't accompanied with kisses or snuggles or intimate signs that were special and just for the pretty boy.

They were _nothing_ compared to what he shared with the brunette.

So why couldn't James tell the difference?

* * *

><p>The wait lasted a full three hours before Kendall slowly came to the realization that he wasn't going to wake up, that this was real life.<p>

Logan was gone, he noted as he rose from the seat, wincing at the soreness of his muscles. In fact, everyone was gone, the room empty and lonely and way too white to calm anyone down. Vaguely, he thought in the back of his mind, that was why everyone hated hospitals.

In the front of his mind, he wondered why the nurses didn't wake him up and kick him out of the place, too, since it had to be way past visiting hours. He didn't question it, though, just quietly slipped into James' room again.

"Hey," Kendall mumbled to the patient who was just sitting in bed, watching some mindless show on the small T.V. It looked like Oprah or Tyra or some other talk show with only one name that normally couldn't hold Kendall's attention for more than three seconds, but Kendall stared at that instead of looking at the tan boy. "You should get some rest."

James shrugged. "Probably," he agreed offhandly, "but it's hard to sleep. I don't know; feels like something's missing."

Kendall knew the feeling.

So instead of pressing the issue, the blonde sat down next to James' bed and watched the talk show with him. Or, really, let his eyes follow the moving colors because any information the show was spewing at him goes in one ear and out the other.

It was almost like how it used to be, when they used to stay up and watch T.V. until they fell asleep together. But it was so different, too. Because Kendall couldn't pull James closer or tuck him under his arm for safety.

It was a startling, depressing reflection.

"I'm sorry," James said suddenly, breaking the silence and the light doze the blonde had fell into. "I think I know why you were so… um, _weird_ earlier when I didn't know who you were."

Green eyes widened and Kendall felt this light, fluffy notion at his throat as an excited smile pulled on his pink lips. He was pretty sure the feeling was hope. "Really? You do?"

"Yeah, it's because we've met before."

"Yes, exactly!" Kendall almost pulled James closer, to kiss those full lips and hug him and just love the boy like he has always done, but before he could, the brunette continued.

"I totally remember now! You're Logan's cousin—"

Kendall's face completely fell, but James went on without even noticing.

"—I think we met, like, last summer. You must have fallen for me pretty hard when we met, right?" The brunette snapped his fingers as if he'd discovered a huge advancement like gravity or microwave popcorn. "And now, when you came all this way just because I was in the hospital, you got all mad because I didn't remember you, right?"

The hope turned to despair, clawing at the blonde's very being. "…Yeah, right, exactly…"

"I knew it!" James rejoiced. He grinned a very flirtatious grin, winking at the blonde. "Sorry, I'm known for being a heartbreaker."

And Kendall could only think he'd never heard anything more true.

* * *

><p>So wow. So surprised with how much feedback I've gotten on this story so soon. :) Which is probably why I got this chapter typed out typed out so fast lol So thank you for all the reviews, alerts, favorite, and just reading it; I hope this second chapter is good, too :)<p> 


	3. A Plan, Sort Of

_"How am I supposed to compete with a blonde?" Kendall could hear the pout in James' voice, which was good, because everything was fuzzy and he could barely make out the brunette's body let alone how his bottom lip was protruding out. _

_ "You're still upset about this?" He couldn't understand it. How could James be so upset about him having Jo as a friend? James was like a Greek God, a modern day Adonis; he wasn't about to mess that up for someone who could never even come close. "I told you, she's just a friend. I love you." _

_ The blurry image of James smiled. "I love you, too." _

_ "I don't even get why you'd be insecure," Kendall admitted with a laugh. "You're my whole world, James. Without you, I'd die." _

_ Everything stopped, going back just seconds before, and played again over and over again like a skipping record as everything got more shadowy and unclear. _

_ "Without you—without you—without you—without you." _

_ Skip. Skip. Skip. _

_ "…I'd die." _

* * *

><p>"Get up!"<p>

Those were the words that broke Kendall's sleep as the covers were pulled away from him with a force so strong, it sent the blonde over the other side of the bed to the hard, wooden floor below.

Kendall groaned, taking several attempts with his heavy limps to get back up again. He looked up to see Logan standing there with a sickly sweet smile.

"Finally up, _cousin?_ I thought you were going to sleep your whole visit away. Guess you were tired from the long drive here, huh?" the smart boy asked, crossing his arms.

If Kendall wasn't so tired, wasn't so broken up inside he would've been surprised at how angry Logan was. It took a lot to get the brain of Big Time Rush _pissed_, and that he was.

"You went to see James without me?" Surprisingly, the thought angered him. When the blonde talked again, his voice was louder with just a touch of annoyance, "Why didn't you wake me?"

"Why did _you_ lie to him?"

"What else was I supposed to say to him! You told me he didn't want to remember me, or us, or what we had…" He cleared his throat, trying to dislodge the tight ball of feeling stuck in his windpipe. It didn't work. "So he doesn't have to. Now he can know Kendall, Logan's nice cousin who came all this way just to see him."

"Do you know just how immoral that is?" As if Logan couldn't find the words to describe how wrong that was, he threw his hands up in a fit of passion. "You're taking advantage of him, Kendall!"

Kendall stood up. "No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!" Logan shouted back, coming closer to the other boy till they were chest to chest. Kendall had at least three or four good inches on him, but he didn't let the fact faze him. "You're not telling him the truth about what happened and making crap up because he's in the hospital and doesn't remember. That's like the definition of taking advantage of someone!"

Then the most surprising thing happened, something even rarer than Logan's banana slugs mating every ten or fifteen years; Kendall Knight _backed down._

Kendall bit his lip, looking down, wisps of dirty blonde hair falling over his eyes. "…You're right. I'm taking advantage of him." Deep, dark green eyes locked with Logan's chocolate brown. "Please, Logan, don't tell him the truth."

Logan started, "Kendall, I have—"

"No, please, just don't. I have a plan, sort of." Kendall looked around in exasperation before giving a big sigh, his whole body deflating when it was released as he continued softly, "Look, I just—I can't _not_ do something to try to make this right. Wouldn't you do the same if it was Carlos?"

Logan blushed. "Carlos isn't my boyfriend," he mumbled out.

"And James isn't mine; that's why I have to fix it." With that said, Kendall passed Logan, their shoulders lightly brushing against each other's. "I'm going to take a shower, and then visit James…"

A sigh passed though the smart boy's mouth. "Kendall, wait."

Said boy turned around, one thick eyebrow raised. "Yeah?"

"You don't have a license yet and Mama K went to the gym." A lopsided grin took over his mouth. "You may have been lucky not to completely murder someone when you drove yesterday, but let's not put any more lives at risk. Tell me when you're ready and I'll give you a ride."

There was a pause.

Then, slowly, there were matching smiles.

"Logan?"

The shorter brunette made a grunt of acknowledgment in the back of his throat, sounding something like "Hmm?"

"Thanks."

* * *

><p><em>"Do you always fall asleep in the car?" James asked, looking down at the green-eyed boy who was currently curled up in the passenger seat, blonde head leaning against the cool window. "Or is it just when I'm the one in the car with you?" <em>

_"Just when I'm with you." Kendall grinned at the brunette's mock hurt expression. "It's when you sing… It's like a lullaby, really_…_" A kitten-like yawn breaks his sentence. "I like it." _

_"Of course you like it," James quipped, smirking. "Everyone with ears would like my singing. You have ears, ergo you like my singing." _

_"…Ergo?" _

_James chuckled haughtily. "Impressed?" _

_"Sure…" Kendall answered, but it sounded more like a question even to his own ears. Then he rolled his eyes, dismissing the subject. "Either way, you're right—for once. Sing again? I want five more minutes of sleep…" _

_"Am I your snooze button now?" Kendall had closed his eyes, but he knew that if he wasn't too lazy and opened them, he'd see James pouting to the windshield like a three-year-old. The thought was almost enough to make him open his eyes to see it, but Kendall Knight really loved his sleep. _

_"Yep." He threw one arm out, blindly poking random places on the brunette's right arm, shoulder, neck, and face. "Which button do I have to press to make the song start?" _

_James smirked. "It's my lips, but it only works if you hit them with yours." _

_"You'd do anything for a kiss, wouldn't ya?" Kendall peeked one eye open, a smile playing on his lips. _

_"From you, yes." _

_Kendall's smile widened until his dimples were large on his cheeks. "Cute." He got up and leaned over to the driver's seat as far as he could with his seatbelt still on to press a sweet kiss against James' full lips for just a second. Then he pulled away and curled back up again in his own seat. "Sing," he demanded. _

_"That wasn't long enough!" James whined. _

_That pout was back again, but Kendall just giggled—when James brought it back up, he swore it wasn't; men _don't_ giggle—and shook his head. "You got your kiss, now sing." _

_"Here I am. There you are," James sang, his voice washing over Kendall's ears and straight to his heart like only his voice could as the blonde released a dreamy sigh, snuggling farther into the leather seat. "Why does it seem so far?—_

"Next to you is where I should be!" the radio blasted out.

_Wha—?_

Kendall blinked several times. When he opened his eyes, he saw he was in the Big Time Rush mobile's passenger seat with Logan beside him driving. He looked out the window and found, with surprise, that they were at the hospital already.

"You okay?" Logan asked as he cut the engine.

"Um, yeah," Kendall replied, blinking a couple more times with furrowed eyebrows. He opened his car door clumsily and fumbled out; luckily, he managed to do it without stumbling. "I'm fine."

It was a lie that neither of them believed.

* * *

><p>So, there's the third chapter. Not a lot of action or advancement in this one I know, but I hope you liked anyway :)<p> 


	4. A Bad Notion

The closer Kendall and Logan got to James' room, the more distinct the voices coming from within became. Even from down the hallway, Kendall could make out that deep baritone.

"I don't remember what happened," James' voice said, "but I do know it wasn't anything like that. I probably just fell and hit my head. That happens sometimes when I'm looking at my reflection." By the end of the sentence, James' voice had gotten somewhat distracted and dreamy; Kendall could almost see through the walls, James holding up his mini-mirror and winking at himself.

Kendall almost smiled at the thought, but the next words—from a deeper, rougher tone—stopped his every movement until he was left standing in the middle of the hallway like an idiot as nurses passed, throwing weird looks his way.

"We're investigating this as an assault. Please, just tell us all you remember from twenty-four hours before the accident to when you blacked out."

And despite Kendall's frozen demeanor—he still hadn't moved from his spot—he wanted to know what James remembered, too. Hours before the pretty boy left, he was with Kendall (tearing his heart out and ripping it into little tiny, unfixable pieces, that is, but that's just details)… Did James remember that?

* * *

><p><em>Kendall opened the door to 2J quietly, only enough to slip in before softy closing it. James was still sleeping, he thought, and he would hate to wake him. And as far as he knew, his mother and Katie weren't awake, either.<em>

_You __**do not **__wake them up unless you have a death wish. _

"_You're back." Kendall looked back with surprise, finding James sitting on the couch, waiting for him. He was so overjoyed by the sigh of his boyfriend, smiling a big dimpled grin, that he didn't even notice the flatness of his voice or the solemn expression etched on those attractive features. _

"_Hey, babe," he whispered, moving to press his lips against James' cheek for a morning kiss. "Sleep well?" _

"_You went to go see her again," was James' simple answer—or maybe it was an accusation?—completely ignoring the pleasantry question. _

_There was no question to who this "her" was. The only girl James ever had any problem Kendall seeing was Jo. Which, actually, was pretty unfair since James saw different girls out, too, as friends, like Rachel and Stephanie. James was being entirely trying to dictate Kendall's life and he wasn't going to stand for it! _

_Okay, that's a lie._

_Kendall might've well have start wearing a dog collar around his neck because he was completely whipped and trained. _

_And, honestly… Kendall kind of liked it. _

"_Yeah," Kendall agreed, because he wasn't trying to hide it. "She called me and asked if I'd run lines with her by the pool. I didn't want to wake you." He draped his arm over James' frame, but the pretty boy turned away, shrugging the arm off his shoulders._

"_So you could sneak back in and I'd never know?" James crossed his arms, huffing in steamed annoyance, "I knew it." _

"_Knew what, baby?" _

_James glanced over at him with fiery (hurt) hazel eyes, mouth set in a straight line (pout). "I knew you were cheating on me."_

* * *

><p>One of the nurses tapped on the doorframe. "Officer," she said in a hushed voice that was kind and yet professional, stopping the questions and Kendall's train of thought, "Mr. Diamond has visitors, and he needs another dose of his medicine. I'm sure you can come back later for any more questions."<p>

The officer scribbled something down quickly then shut his pocketbook, slipping it back into the pouch on his belt. "Yeah, okay," he muttered in a tone that clearly said it wasn't okay. He turned back to James, handing him a small two by three card. "Call me if you remember anything."

"Will do," James nodded his head, placing the card on his nightstand, next to the untouched orange juice and unbuttered toast.

The officer walked out of the room with a certified air as if he hadn't just been kicked out by a five foot two nurse, stopping at Logan.

"Logan Mitchell?" Logan nodded, stammering out some form of greeting. "I'm Officer Black. I'm going to need some statements from you; ask some questions. I'm sure you're familiar with the process?"

"Yes, sir," Logan agreed, some nervousness still in his tone and ome red tingeing his pale cheeks.

"Then follow me."

When the two walked off, Kendall was finally able to move, albeit awkwardly. He slipped into James' room to find the brunette patient tearing up a white card. "Um, what's that?" he asked.

"_Officer Black's_"—the name is said in a mocking, disliking tone as James rolled his eyes—"card. I don't like the dude. He thinks he knows everything."

"Well, he is a cop…" But Kendall didn't like him, either. But that was probably because he just couldn't like anyone who used James' name and the word _assault_ together in a sentence.

"He thinks it was a hate crime or something… Hello, no one hates me! How can you hate something this beautiful? Know-it-alls are stupid." That got Kendall to smile, so the blonde didn't point out the obvious contradiction. "But I guess you know that, being Logan's cousin and all," James continued.

"Huh?" Kendall blinked, shaking his head. "I mean, yeah, I totally get it." He knew James was sitting there expectantly, maybe waiting for a story he could later use against the young genius as blackmail later, so he quickly changed the subject. "Um, here, let me fix your bread."

With long, twitching fingers, he grabbed the toasted wheat bread—because James was a total health nut and wouldn't even touch something that could possibly ruin his washboard abs—and started spreading the butter.

But he can't shake the feeling, the bad notion growing in the back of his mind. He may not have liked Officer Black and James might think he was just a know-it-all, but what if it was true? What if James didn't fall?

What if James was attacked?

* * *

><p>…I don't really love this chapter. Like, at all. But I was focusing on other stories and one shots and stuff, so I'm like "I need to update <em>Remember Me, <em>like, now!" so I tried my best… Your thoughts? Either way, hoped you liked, even if it was just a little bit :)


	5. A Promise of Seduction

Sweat collected on Logan's upper lip and rolled down the back of his neck before disappearing into the collar of his striped polo shirt. His blood was boiling beneath his pale skin, turning his face a light shade of rosy pink.

His display of nervousness wasn't lost on his companion. "Why are you so nervous, Mitchell?" the officer asked. "We're just here to talk."

The genius couldn't help but imagine himself in a darkened room, sitting in a simple chair by a table with a bright spotlight on him—like a scene in an old crime movie—instead of a different unused room of the hospital.

Apprehensively, he played with the fingers on his other hand. "I'm just not good with pressure," he admitted.

"Is there a reason you're feeling pressure?" Officer Black pressed, coming closer. "Is there something you're not telling me, Mitchell? Huh?"

"No!" Logan said loudly. "I already told you. I was walking around the Palm Woods Park and I just found him there! He was unconscious and he wouldn't wake up! I panicked and I called an ambulance. That's all I know!"

It would be the understatement of the century to say Logan was freaking out.

Officer Black scribbled something down into a small leather covered notebook. When he looked back up, his dark eyes were intense and focused solely on Logan. "Why were you in the park, Mitchell? You found him sometime after eleven. Pretty late for a walk, don't you think?"

"No, not at all," Logan said, a little too quickly with forced casualness. "Just thought it'd be nice to take a walk. You know, be one with Mother Nature, clear my head."

"Why clear your head, Mitchell? Feeling guilty about something? Maybe something you knew would happen, something you _helped _happen?"

The questions wouldn't stop, Officer Black wouldn't stop. He just kept talking, accusing. And Logan's nervousness grew and grew. He couldn't take this. His head was swimming. His breathing was coming out in barely contained gasps. His heart was pumping in and out of his chest so hard, he was sure it would just burst out.

"Okay!" he finally shouted. "I admit it!"

* * *

><p>Kendall passed the buttered piece of toast to James slowly, careful not to touch any part of James' hand with his own fingers. He couldn't handle any contact with James when he knew it meant nothing, when the only love coming into it was from him. The depressing thought made him keep his eyes downcast to the tiled floor.<p>

"You're cute, you know."

Kendall looked up shocked to James who was grinning around his toast. "Wh-what?"

James chuckled. "You're cute," he repeated happily, taking another bite of bread. "Your crush on me must've gotten bigger because now you can barely look at me and any contact makes you blush." He reached out, cupped Kendall's face, enjoying the way the skin heated beneath his touch.

Kendall backed away, separating them with the distance of the whole room. "Yeah, I guess…" he muttered.

James frowned. "Are you always this shy?"

_Kendall grinned down at James' blushing face, his dimples prominent and his smile widely smug. "Are you always this shy?" he asked. He tucked two fingers under the brunette's chin, forcing those hazel eyes to meet his. "I like it. I like how I can make the oh-so confident James Diamond shy." He came closer, stopping only centimeters away from James' inviting pink lips. "I like you."_

_"Kendall…" James whispered, before closing the distance. As soon as their lips made contact, he deepened the kiss, threading a hand through Kendall's dirty blonde hair and tilted his head for better access. _

_Kendall was the one to break away first, panting and smiling softly. "Does this mean you'll go out with me?"_

"When people meet me for the first time," Kendall replied somewhat dryly.

"So," James started, mood and voice back to reflecting a playful happiness, "if I get to know you more, you won't be so shy?" His voice dropped several octaves. "I'd like to see that."

Kendall glanced up, cocking one large eyebrow. "Are you hitting on me?"

James shrugged. "It's the best I can do since I'm stuck in this hospital bed. If I could, I'd be seducing you." A mischievous grin took over his mouth at the blush that painted Kendall's cheeks. "I promise, you'd say yes."

"I'd say yes now," Kendall admitted as another blush blended into the last. "But why would you even ask? You don't know me." _No matter how much I wish you did._

An expression not usually seen on the musician, something thoughtful, covered his features. "I don't know," he answered honestly. He gestured Kendall closer with one hand, waiting until the blonde was close enough to touch to continue. "But I like you. And you _obviously _like me, too."

He took Kendall's hand in his own, intertwining their fingers.

Right then and there, in that moment between them, it would have been so easy to forget what happened to James—whatever did happen—forget James didn't remember anything about him. Forget everything but the amazing boy so close to him, forget everything but James.

So Kendall did.

"I do like you," he said, tightening his grip on James.

James grinned a thousand watt grin, sitting up so he could be as close as possible to Kendall. He only stopped when their lips were just centimeters apart. "Does that mean you'll go out with me?"

_James smiled, going back in for more of that indescribable taste hanging on Kendall's lips. "Yes," he mumbled against his lips. "Yes, Kendall." _

"Yes," Kendall answered, stretching his neck out to finally connect his mouth to James' soft lips. An embarrassing, small moan erupted from his throat straight into James' mouth at the familiar flavor he'd missed so, _so_ much. "Yes, James."

* * *

><p>Officer Black slammed his hands down on the armrests of the raven-haired boy's chair, making something like a prison with his arms, trapping Logan in. "Admit what, Mitchell?" he asked furiously. "Spit it out!"<p> 


	6. A Set of Big Brown Eyes

Logan tried to take another deep breath in a futile attempt to calm himself, but it was impossible with Officer Black so close to him; all he got was a large inhale of smoke and intimidation. With his face still hot and bothered, his voice rising at falling at random intervals, he started, "…I lied about why I was at the park… I was out because—"

_"Camille, you know I love you." The brunette girl smiled, tightening her grip on the boy's hands. (Maybe she should've just chained him for all the good that did.) "But I think—what I mean to say is—well, I want to br-break up… with you." _

_ Her brown eyes widened. "What? Why? I thought you were over the fact I kissed James? You forgave him; why can't you forgive me!"_

_ "It's not about that," Logan muttered, nibbling on his bottom lip. _

_ Camille finally let go of his hands, opting instead to lay hers limply in her lap. "Who's the girl, Logan? Who is it?" she asked numbly. _

_ "There's no other girl." It was the truth. There was no other _girl._ Logan got up from lounge chair slowly, looking back at Camille. "We can still be fri—"_

_ SLAP. _

"—I broke up with my girlfriend. And I broke up with her because…" Logan paused, looking around the room before slightly leaning forward to whisper, "I think I'm confused…" Two black eyebrows was raised as if questioning if the Officer got what he meant. "You know, like _confused._"

"…What?" Officer Black growled. "This isn't damn Degrassi, Mitchell! You're wasting my time!"

"Hey, you asked me why I was in the park!" Logan defended himself, but he really wanting to hide behind his own chair. Black didn't look like a person to piss off.

In fact, he looked more like a volcano than an actual person. And ready to explode. "Listen here, you little punk—!"

The door opened again and another cop walked in, but as soon as this one walked in, blue uniform pristine and helmet polished so it shone white, Logan's fear completely vanished. "Mr. Garcia!" he yelled joyfully at the sight of his best friend's father. "Save me!"

Officer Garcia glanced at the seen before him; his partner hovering threateningly over his little hijo's friend while Logan's red face was scared and sweaty. It wasn't a pretty picture. "Nick! What're you doing? If the chief hears about that, he'll send you to sensitivity training… for the _forty-seventh_ time."

"I'm just getting some answers. This is how you have to deal with punks!" But Black removed his hands from the chair and backed off a bit, giving Logan enough room to get up, run over to Mr. Garcia and hug him.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Logan rejoiced, sounding almost like he was going to cry. "Thank you so much!"

Mr. Garcia grinned down at him. "Why don't you go outside? Hijo's out there in the waiting room," he offered, his smile only widening when Logan immediately dashed out of the room. He guessed alone time with Black was a little too much for the genius to handle.

…Or maybe it was because Carlos was out there waiting that sent Logan running like a madman. That's another (more probable) possibility.

* * *

><p><em>"James!" Logan screamed. In his ears, there was a never ending echo of the sick crack, the slick sound of James falling down to the pavement or hitting his head against the side of the small wishing well or whatever else could have happened to him. In his panic, everything he knew about medical procedure flew out his ears and he was left just pawing at James' jacket, shaking him, trying to get him to wake up. "James!" <em>

_His hands were trembling, but moving fast along every part of James' tanned body, desperate and scared. They only paused, like the air going through his lungs, hitching in his throat, when he brushed behind the brunette's head… and felt a hot, thick liquid. _

_He slowly took his hands away and moved them close enough to his face to see the bold red staining his fingers. _

_With wide eyes, he quickly took his phone out of his pocket, quickly dialing 9-1-1 on the small buttons, leaving drops of red behind. "Help!" he yelled into the phone, "I need an ambulance! My friend—he fell or something, I don't know!"_

_In his commotion and alarm, Logan didn't notice the small, broken mumbles falling from the brunette's parted lips. _

_"You're f-fault… Blonde… Fa-fault…"_

_"I'm in Palm Woods Park. Look, he's unconscious and bl-bleeding and you have to hurry! Uh, we're by the wishing well—hurry!"_

_ "…Yours."_

* * *

><p>Logan finally got to the waiting room by walking (he'd gotten scolded many times by passing nurses for running through the hallways) and the first thing he saw was Carlos sitting in one of the waiting room chairs.<p>

The Latino wasn't moving. He wasn't bouncing in his seat, wasn't bobbing his knee up and down, wasn't drumming his fingers on the armrest. He was just sitting there, staring straight ahead with solemn dark brown irises.

"Hey, Carlos," Logan greeted with a forced half-smile when he was in the boy's sight. He leaned down at the waist to give his friend a less than awkward one armed guy hug, frowning a bit when the dark-skinned boy didn't return the gesture. Logan leaned back. "You okay?"

"Is James okay?" Carlos asked in a small voice, sounding like a puppy that'd been kicked or pulled by the tail. He looked up at Logan with the biggest, saddest brown eyes, pouring into Logan's matching orbs.

"Yeah, Carlitos, you've seen him. He's not hurt too badly, considering," Logan coaxed gently, moving his hands in comforting circles on Carlos' shoulders.

Carlos didn't seem comforted. "But he doesn't remember Kendall. And Kendall's sad now, too." He raised his hand, lightly touching under Logan's eyes with tender movements. "And you haven't been sleeping. There are bags under your eyes."

Logan sighed. "I'm okay, Carlos. Kendall's okay, he came up with a plan, apparently," he added, rolling his eyes. "And James is going to be okay, too. We'll all be okay." Logan took Carlos' hand, pulling him out of his chair.

"C'mon, Carlitos," Logan said, looking back over his shoulder at the smaller boy with a smile as he intertwined their fingers. "Let's go visit James. Kendall's in there, too, I think."

Carlos stared at their conjoined hands distractively, a small color rising in his cheeks when he raised his eyes to the back of Logan's spiked head. "Okay, Logie."


	7. A Day in the Life of James Diamond's Boo

Kendall couldn't help but smile when he walked in James' hospital room, the sight filling his eyes not James sitting on his bed, waiting for the blonde but the brunette bending over his bed. It wasn't until now that the blonde really appreciated the open back gowns the doctor provided.

He also really appreciated James' tendency to go commando.

"James," he called, watching with a grin as the tanned boy jumped slightly, looking over his shoulder hurriedly. But then James saw it was just Kendall and he just smiled suggestively, bending over even farther.

"Hey, Kenny," James purred, finally getting up and sitting back on the bed. "I was just stretching. Things can get really sore and _stiff_ in those hard hospital beds…"

"…Only you would try to flirt in a hospital." Kendall rolled his eyes and walked closer, sitting on the chair that was constantly by James' side and almost constantly occupied by the blonde.

"Try? I think you mean _succeed._" James moved over a bit to the right, making room. "Why don't you come up here with me and keep me company?" the brunette offered.

Kendall squirmed in his seat, keeping his green eyes away from James' smug face. "Uh, I think I'll sit here for a while… It's pretty comfy."

James smirked. "Looks like things can get stiff in the chairs, too."

* * *

><p>"Kendall, change the channel," James requested, laying spread out on his bed, staring blandly at the flashing television hanging from the ceiling. It was another one of those game shows where you can <em>hypothetically <em>win millions, but no one ever does.

Kendall peeked up from his magazine, shaking his head. "The remote's right next to you, James."

"It's too far." Really, the centimeters separating the remote and James' hand might as well have been miles; that was what it felt like, anyway. "Please?"

Kendall groaned. Curse James for using that sinful pout against him. He looked up at James to tell him to do it himself, but then he caught sight of hazel puppy dog eyes pouring into his own. Dammit. "Fine," he huffed out, grabbing the remote and switching the channel to some fashion network. "Happy?"

"Very." For a well-deserved reward, James graced him with his thousand watt smile. "Thank you, Kenny."

And Kendall quickly picked up his magazine and buried his face into the pages to hide his stupid blush. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're welcome."

…

"Kenny?"

The blonde glanced back up at the patient, one eyebrow cocked. "Yeah, James?"

"Change the channel."

* * *

><p>James' perfectly sculpted face twisted into a disgusted scowl as one of the nurses wheeled in a food tray packed with unmentionable lumps of… <em>whatever<em> they were trying to pass off as actual edible cooking. "Ew."

The nurse offered an apologetic smile, lifting her shoulders in a small shrug as she lifted some pudding. "Isn't five star restaurant fancy, but it'll have to do, right?"

"Um, no, I'd rather starve," James answered, his nose up in the air in distaste. Expect him to eat that? Not going to happen.

He heard Kendall sigh from the seat beside him. "It's okay," the blonde whispered to the nurse, "I'll handle this."

After another smile, the nurse left the two boys alone, and Kendall turned to James (who was still looking down at the food like it might just start attacking him) and rolled his green eyes. "James, it's time to eat your food. It'll make you all big and strong," he finished sarcastically.

"I'm already bigger and stronger than you," James shot back, "and it's _icky._ I'm not eating that."

"C'mon, Jamie, you need to eat to get better." Kendall sighed. Why was James making this so difficult? He was worse than Katie when she was a baby. "You know, if Logan was here, I bet he'd nag and nag and spout medical stuff until you ate."

"But Logan's not here and even if he was, I wouldn't eat this shit." James glanced down at his pudding-chicken-potato-whatever and gagged. There was no freakin' way he was going to eat that. He'd rather lose his washboard abs, die his hair pink or even shave it all off! Lose all his Cuda products or anything! No way in hell—

"What if I feed you?" Kendall asked, holding up a plastic spoon. "Then will you eat it?"

"…Okay, but I'm _not_ going to like it."

* * *

><p>When Kendall walked back into James' room after his trip to the bathroom, the room was dark. Glancing at his watch—which he couldn't really see because there wasn't much light in the room—he guessed it was bedtime. Maybe James had already fallen asleep…<p>

He tiptoed the rest of the way to the brunette's bedside. Smiling at James' peaceful expression, he leaned down and pressed his lips against the pretty boy's tanned check, lingering for several seconds. "Goodnight, Jamie," he whispered.

All his attempts to stay quiet were ruined, Kendall letting out a loud shriek, when strong arms wrapped around his torso and pulled him into the bed and into a toned chest.

James laughed quietly into his ear. "I told you I was stronger than you."

"James! What are you doing? I thought you were sleeping!" Kendall whisper-yelled. When James just continued to laugh, he shook his head and just said, "Ugh, never mind. Just let me go and go to bed."

Laughing turned into pouting. "No, Kenny, stay. I can't sleep without you. I'm scared of the dark and only you can save me from the monsters."

"You are so full of it," Kendall quipped, still pushing on the taller boy's chest. "Look, I'd stay, but the nurses wouldn't like if they came in to two boys. They can barely handle you alone."

"Who cares?" was James' brilliant reply. "Just stay. I want to be with you, Kendall. You're so comfy. Like my personal teddy bear." He smiled down at the blonde. "I love my Kenny," he cooed, snuggling into the crook of Kendall's neck.

The feel of James' lips against the sensitive skin of his neck, collar, and shoulder was completely unfair. "Fine," Kendall relented, "but no more complaints. Got it?"

"Got it!" James chirped.

Kendall rolled his eyes, but nevertheless cuddled into James' side. When he closed his eyes, it was just like before, when James refused to go to bed without Kendall. The warmth and weight of the brunette's body was so familiar and comforting, he was quickly drifting off to sleep.

But before he did, he faintly heard a soft, "I love you, Kenny."

Kendall opened his eyes, staring at James' peaceful face. If he didn't know any better, he'd think the brunette was sleeping, but he'd already made the mistake once. "How can you love me?" he murmured. "You don't know me."

"I don't have to know you to know I love you… I can just tell."

Kendall continued staring at James, almost in disbelief. "Jamie, I love you, too. More than you could know."

A tired smirk pulled at James' lips. "Wanna bet?"

Kendall quickly closed his eyes to make sure any traitorous liquid swimming in his irises had no means of escape. It was moments like this he missed the most, that made having James Diamond as your boyfriend the greatest experience known to man, even with all the annoyance and irritation that came with the job.

A small smile on his lips, Kendall finally let himself be pulled off to the blissful depths of slumber.

* * *

><p>The first thing Kendall saw when his eyes fluttered open was James' smiling face. The first thing he felt was a gentle good morning kiss from James' soft, warm lips. And he smiled. "Good morning, Jamie," he yawned out.<p>

"Yeah, must be. That or you're _really_ happy to see me," James snickered with a waggle of eyebrows, glancing down at Kendall's body before looking back up to the blonde's red face.

Kendall groaned.

Why did he put up with this guy again?


End file.
